An autistic in postgraduate accounting

Citation

Galvão, A.A. (2023), "An autistic in postgraduate accounting", Accounting, Auditing & Accountability Journal, Vol. 36 No. 7/8, pp. 1871-1872. https://doi.org/10.1108/AAAJ-10-2023-210

Being present hurts.

I feel pressure in my joints.

Why is everyone talking at the same time?

Being here makes my heart flutter.

Another lecture begins.

I have trouble taking notes.

I feel the pen slipping between

my wet fingers.

Oh no - I'm sounding.

Did anyone notice?

Words come and go in my mind.

I feel like an avenue in disarray.

What if I leave? Will anyone notice?

I think about not saying anything, but I do.

I’ve said what I thought.

It's strange to feel strange,

The speaker says “Good evening”

but it's not so late.

Did his watch break?

I think about asking, but I stay silent.

Someone sits next to me.

He stretches out his hand and speaks

- “Good evening”.

I wipe my hands on my legs and say, “Hello”,

lower my head, press my lips

and keep my feet pointed toward the exit.

Thirty minutes of presentation have passed.

Does the speaker know this?

His lecture is about an article I've read.

Should I be here?

I have no real choice.

The speaker repeats what I already know.

I shouldn't have read this book.

Everyone claps.

My heart races, my fingers twitch.

Look at me,

I think - not another crisis, not another crisis …

Damn it, I said it out loud.

I need to leave.

I walk towards the exit.

I hear whispers about me.

I still haven't gotten used to it.

I come home.

I make sure I'm sanitised.

My wife asks me, “How was the lecture?”

I answer, “It was great.”

I have a report to write.

Listening to the lecture was compulsory

but I write on what I've read instead.

It's weird to feel awkward in accounting.