Exploring the living experience of shame; protector or persecutor?

Abstract

Purpose

The purpose of this opinion piece is to give voice to the living experience of shame within myself as the author, both psychologically and physically. This is in the hope to increase awareness among others who experience shame and mental health professionals tasked with supporting people in emotional distress.

Design/methodology/approach

The author has written a biographical piece outlining her experiences of living with shame and used rich, provocative and metaphorical language in describing the events which led to this and the impact this has had on my quality of life. The author has positioned shame as a character playing a role in her life.

Findings

This piece reveals the inner turmoil experienced when living alongside shame and the resilience and fortitude needed to understand the role of shame and how it developed. With this knowledge and awareness, the author has found it is possible to move forward in life.

Research limitations/implications

The author has lived through adverse and challenging early life experiences within a difficult family environment. The author has shown that it is possible to undertake a healing journey and to come to an acceptance of shame within my own life and still move forward to create supportive relationships with others and a life worth living. These are often the stories of those people who survive great difficulty and still go on to help and support other people.

Practical implications

The author has found and experienced that loving and supportive relationships give the best chance of healing from early life adversities. The author has also found that shame plays an interesting role as both necessary and painful. Moving forward from the distress often associated with shame is a long journey but one that is possible.

Social implications

The author has aimed to make clear that exploration and education about the lived experience of shame is both helpful for those who suffer and those who intend to help within the mental health professions. Listening to the stories of people with living experiences is vital and plays as important a role as academic theory and learning.

Originality/value

This is a subjective living experience of shame and, in that way, adds to the helpful canon of stories that can inform our understanding of distress and the ability to help. The author has described shame as a character playing a role in her life and belief that this is an interesting way to view this. This piece also contains stories regarding the genesis of shame which are unique to her. The author understands and makes clear that his experience does not necessarily translate or relate to anyone else but stands on its own merit. The author hopes to have much more to contribute in terms of others’ understanding of emotional distress and shame, especially considering its transdiagnostic nature.

Citation

Lilley, K. (2024), "Exploring the living experience of shame; protector or persecutor?", Mental Health and Social Inclusion, Vol. 28 No. 1, pp. 104-107. https://doi.org/10.1108/MHSI-10-2022-0066