Keeping Mum: Caring for Someone with Dementia

Citation

Bernard, C. (2011), "Keeping Mum: Caring for Someone with Dementia", Working with Older People, Vol. 15 No. 4, pp. 183-183. https://doi.org/10.1108/wwop.2011.15.4.183.1

During my 2011 Easter holiday break, I allowed myself to take along one piece of work – a book called Keeping Mum: Caring for Someone with Dementia, which I had been asked to review in the lead up to Carers Week. With a couple of long tube journeys along the Piccadilly Line to Heathrow, plus some time waiting to board at either end, I figured, I could at least read chunks of the book to enable me to write a decent review.

But this is not that sort of book. I found myself enthralled, and read it from cover to cover. The main part of the book is a series of blogs that the author, Marianne Talbot, wrote for Saga Magazine, to record her experiences as carer for her mother. Marianne chose to have her mother move in with her when she was diagnosed with dementia, and Marianne cared for her mother for five years. Marianne uses an endearing term for the cared‐for person – “PIGLET” – “Person I Give Love and Endless Therapy to” courtesy of Hugh Marriott who used it in his book about caring.

Marianne gives a no‐holds‐barred account of life as a carer and her struggle to navigate the system whilst holding on to her career, her social life and her sanity. The struggle of her mother to actually comprehend what is happening to her also comes through very strongly as Marianne imagines life through her eyes.

If anyone wishes to find out first‐hand what it is like to care for someone full time, read this book – or if you are a carer, I am sure that you will read this whilst continually nodding your head to all of the experiences described. The book is witty, hilarious at times, and finally, extremely moving. Alongside this, there is realistic and sensible advice for others in the same situation at the end, with practical information and a list of organisations that can help you and your “piglet” to navigate the care and support system.

I can remember hearing Marianne speak at the 2009 Conservative Party conference, where she was on a panel alongside the then Shadow Health Minister at a plenary session devoted to the care of older people. I remember her as an excellent speaker that is just as engaging in person as she is in her blogs.

Whether or not you have experienced life as a carer, Marianne's account of her experiences is inspiring on so many levels. She proves that with determination, so much can be achieved for both the carer and the person they care for, and that it IS possible to continue to work and care with the right support. Far too many people (many of them female and at the height of their careers) are lost to the workforce as they have to give up work to care full time, risking falling into poverty themselves when they reach pensionable age.

Carers currently save the UK economy £119 billion every year. So there is a clear need for thinking and action about how carers can be better supported, and there is also a need to address and reduce the risk of carer poverty. This book is a huge contribution to a solution as the proportion of older people needing care – and the number of unpaid carers – is set to grow.